Aging and growing old

I have recently had the privilege of working with several new clients who are in their 70’s and 80’s.  Many of these clients had something in common – they were reviewing their lives and attempting to heal. They were working on healing their pain and trying to come to terms with all that they had been, all that they never were, all that they never would become.  They looked  back on swallowed words that were never said or words that should not have been said, wounding that had not been healed, and mistakes made in relationships.  All of them had regrets.

I’ve been pondering this recently, particularly since I have spent the last month dealing with health care provider issues for my elderly father who lives in California. He has made it to the beautiful age of 90 without any major physical problems – no surgeries, no broken bones, no life threatening illnesses, and he still lives in his home.   My mom passed away 5 years ago and my dad has had these last 5 years to contemplate and review his life as a husband, father, and provider.  On the night my mom died he told me that he could kick himself for not being a better husband and father.  He has been reviewing his life ever since that night, and he wonders why he is still on the planet.  He longs to pass on and meet my mom again.  In his younger days he was a hard drinker and an unfaithful husband and mostly absentee father.   Over the last 12 or more  years he has become the kindest, warmest, sweetest and most loving man.  I believe that he has lived this extra time on the planet so that he could arrive at a place of peace with himself.

I’ve concluded that it isn’t much how we have lived our lives but what we are doing in the present that matters most. We all have some regrets in one or more areas or our lives.  I used to tell my children when they were young that there is no such thing as a mistake, only opportunities for learning.  As we age, it is important to not look back on our life with regrets, sorrow or heartache. We can’t change the past. What is important is how we are living our lives in the present moment.

Live your life so that you will have no regrets later on. Live as though this is the last and most magnificent moment of your life.  Make every moment count – every thought, word and action make uplifting, positive and for the highest good of ALL.

Love, Light and Blessings, Robin

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