Do you speak your truth? Do you have congruence between your feelings, your words, and your actions? Do you live authentically or do you mold yourself into what other people want you to be? Do you allow others to project onto you who they want you to be while you hide your true self and your own wants, needs, desires and your voice? Have you become so overly identified in your roles of being and doing, such as mother/father, wife/husband, friend, daughter/son, employee/employer that you forget who you are?
In the last year I have been on a journey to find my truest self, before I got lost in marriage, child rearing, and my vocations, first in California legislative politics and then as a psychotherapist and shamanic healer. One morning a few months ago I awakened and knew without a doubt that I needed to re-claim my maiden name – the name I was given at birth. I realized my children are now at an age that they could not only accept but understand my desire to take back my own name, which is different from the name they carry. When I married the man who is father to my boys, I gave all of myself for love and for creating my family. I love being a mom, but I lost myself in my role as mom and wife in addition to all the other roles I have. I see so many people who have done the same – given themselves and their power away to spouses, partners, children, family, friends and even to their jobs. I believe I lost some of my authenticity and connection with my truest self in the process of doing. And I am just now beginning to re-claim her. I am pleased to announce that I am now legally and officially returned to my birth name of Robin Cathleen Coale. It feels right and it feels good.
I am not advocating that all women who are or were married and still carry their spouses last name that they change it. I’m simply sharing that this is part of my process of being authentically myself again. I encourage all who are reading this to ask yourselves, “What is my Truth and am I living it?” If you are not in your Truth, then why not? What holds you back? Ask yourselves what would be the consequence of being in your Truth? As you go through your day, be aware of what you say and do. Is it based on your Truth? I have been watching what I say, what I do and what I write to make certain it is authentic. Once you begin your inquiry you may be surprised at what is revealed and who emerges.
“Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.” Coco Chanel